Gwendal’s Quandary
by lav123
Summary: Gwendal decides to find out more about himself and how those around him view him. To do so, let’s just say he goes to the extremes. This story has GwenYu,GwenYoz,GwenAnn,GwenGun. Want to know who he ultimately ends up with, keep reading.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Gwendal decides to find out more about himself and how those around him view him. To do so lets just say he goes to the extremes. So this is Gwendal paired up with a lot of people. Want to know who he ultimately ends up with, keep reading.

Romance/ Humor

Rating: M

Disclaimer I: Standard disclaimers apply

Disclaimer II: Lyrics belong to the artist of the song

Authors Notes: A little sad in the beginning but lightens up soon. In this story I portray Gwendal like an éclair, hard on the outside but soft and mushy on the inside.

**Gwendal's Quandary**

Gwendal was used to the intrigue and secrecy that characterized political dealings. Since moving into the castle, when his mother had become Maou, he had been learning the ins-and-outs of ruling a kingdom, so that he could help his mother out and protect his family. Stoffel had done everything he could to dissuade him but Gwendal was what his teachers had called a natural. He knew how to command and he also understood the responsibility that lay behind the power.

As true as that was, his innate nature was contrary to these new found talents. He loved animals and cared deeply for them. He enjoyed children; his mother used to tease him and call him little mother because of the way he tended and cared for his little brother Conrad. He used to dream of one day tending the land around his father's castle, where he would keep a great variety of animal and his home would be filled with children.

He had put those dreams on hold when his mother had became Maou and applied himself to learning how to rule and become the best for his mother and brothers' sake. Nobody knew of his dreams, neither did they know that he disliked ruling and all that it entailed. Those first few years were a constant struggle between his nature and what duty demanded out of him. He hated sending soldiers out to war knowing that he was asking them to kill and that they themselves could be killed. Every night he would be plagued with nightmare's where the families of the men he had sent out would point at him and blame him for their loss. He would see the battlefields were the enemy lay dead. Were blood of both the young and old were spilt because of his orders. Those dead would open their eyes and reach for him. The horde would chant one phrase, "Your Responsible", again and again. He used to wake up screaming and sweating.

But it was his duty to do the job, so he had taught himself to act contrary to his nature. He learnt to bury his fears deep and blame all the death and destruction on the humans. He learned to hide his feelings and never let anyone see what he really thought or felt. What had started as a necessity to earn the respect of those under him and to command obedient had eventually become his personality. Through the years it was so ingrained in him that he had become the epitome of the intrigue and secrecy that characterized politics. So much so that he himself no longer knew who he truly was. All he knew was the job. His only other outlet was knitting; the repetitive metallic tap of needles soothed him. He owed Anissina his sanity for teaching him, which was probably why she kept trying to drive him insane with her crazy inventions. But, in spite of being his childhood friend, even she did not know him.

He never questioned why it was so. He never stopped to wonder how he got here or where he was going, till now. Till the 27th Maou of Shin Makoku had begun his reign. The first time he had seen Yuuri, all he could think was that he was just a kid, a half-human kid at that, how could some one this insignificant rule the country. But rule the country he did with such a carefree and natural ability that Gwendal realised that this was who a natural leader really was. He himself might have been able to pick up strategy and planning easily at a young age but he did not posses this… this… instinct that the Maou possessed.

One might call it sheer luck, he himself had in the beginning, of how the boy managed to settle even the most precarious problems. But he had quite soon come to realise that it was the boy's convictions that saw him through, not lady luck. For the Maou, right was right and wrong was wrong. More importantly The Maou - Yuuri ruled from the heart.

He wanted to know how to do that - to for once let his heart decide.

Yuuri had also put Gwendal in a position he hadn't been in for a long time- where his heart and head were at war. The crazy suggestions the kid had were to his mind, training and experience dumb and sometimes downright silly. But in his heart of hearts he always felt like cheering the kid on. Yuuri's rule appealed to all of Gwendal's natural instincts and the peace that his reign was bringing, was healing Gwendal's battered heart. When the kid looked at him with those puppy dog eyes and pleaded, he could all but feel his heart melt. But the scary thing was that it was like the Maou could look straight through his mask and see the real him.

Now he wanted to know what the kid saw. Who is Gwendal? He no longer had any excuse for hiding behind a mask. There was peace in the kingdom, and though some unsavory aspects of the job still remained, he could handle it without his conscience rebelling. Because the cause was just, this time around and his king was worthy. So who was he? How did he really feel about those around him? These were questions he had started asking himself, and now he intended to find out. The latter question seemed easier to figure out than the former so he would begin there and hopefully one would lead to the other.

He therefore had a new project- He was going to discover himself. But he was pitifully at dealing with affairs of the heart, so he would approach this like he would any other project, in a logical and reasonable manner. He needed an action plan. The best he could come with was a three step process: First, he would follow the most straight forward route and directly ask the person straight out how they felt about him, if that did not work he would terrorize them, no, no that was the General talking, hmm… what would a person who cared do. He could always kiss them. That was sure to get a reaction and it would tell him what he needed to know. Furthermore, it would be completely out of character, so he could see how comfortable he was acting contrary to his normal demeanor. If even that did not work then he would just wing it, another departure from his usual approach. Now for his victims, those closest to him were the best option.

XX

Authors note: Hope this story makes the holiday season merrier. You could do the same for me and please… review.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Disclaimer I: Standard disclaimers apply

Disclaimer II: Lyrics belong to the artist of the song

XX

Yuuri walked into Gwendal's office to find him staring out the window, deep in thought. It was rare to catch Gwendal off guard. Usually he was behind his desk and buried deep in documents and would look up and glare the minute anyone dared disturbed him. Yuuri stood silently studying Gwendal and noticed that all in all, Gwendal was quite attractive. God forbid that Wolfram would ever hear him think that let alone say it, he would go into a jealous rage and probably burn the castle down.

Suddenly Gwendal turned around and glared at him. Yuuri jumped guiltily.

Gwendal growled at him, saying, "Well since it's basically your fault. I might as well start with you." Yuuri decided that retreat was the better part of valour and turned to flee, but a heavy hand fell on his shoulder.

Gwendal turned him around and dragged him to a chair. He pushed him down to sit.

"I ..I…didn't do it. What ever you're angry about, I swear I didn't do it."

"Quit! Now you are going to answer my question, you got it."

"Yes Sir!"

"Don't call me Sir. You're the Maou for Sinnoh sakes."

"Yes…S…Gwendal"

"Do you like me?"

"WHAT?"

"Do. You. Like. Me?"

"Ya…ah…iiii….."

Gwendal let out a deep sigh. "I guess you're not going to be able to form a coherent sentence. Pity. It is step two then, I guess." He bent down and simple picked Yuuri out of his chair and held him dangling above the ground.

"Please Gwendal, I am so sorry for whatever I have done. Please, put me down."

"Answer my question then."

"I…I…I" Yuuri stammered.

"Well I thought as much" Gwendal pulled Yuuri close and dropped his hands to his waist. In reflex, to stop himself from falling, Yuuri threw his arms around Gwendal's neck. Gwendal scowled down at him, "Might as well get this over with"

Gwendal bent and set his lips on Yuuri's. Yuuri let out a squeak. Gwendal could feel him trembling. So he gentled his lips and rubbed them slowly to and fro. When Yuuri relaxed he slowly lapped at his lower lip and sucked gently. Yuuri let out a small moan and tightened his hold. Slowly Gwendal raised his head and looked the Maou's upturned face. Yuuri's eyes were closed and there was a slight flush on his cheeks.

"Hmm… that was nice. I guess you like me then."

Yuuri's eyes flew open, "I…I…"

Setting Yuuri in his chair again, Gwendal said, "I shall categorize it as sweet and nice." So saying he pulled a piece of paper towards him and started writing.

"You're categorizing."

"Yes. I want to know how people feel about me. So this is a logical way to do so."

"Oh."

"Now if you'll excuse me, Your Majesty."

Yuuri got up on unsteady feet and made it halfway across the room. Then he suddenly turned and said, "Gwendal, I do like you. You're scary but you have a soft heart. It shows in the way you take care of your family. You may stand against me on a lot of issues but you always do it to protect me."

Taking a deep breath he walked around the desk, "You are the cornerstone for your family. They all depend on you and look to you for guidance. I depend on you too. Without you I would not be able to run this country. You are the kingdoms bedrock. There is this song back on earth that goes like this. Don't laugh-

'Did you ever know that you're my hero, and everything I would like to be?

I can fly higher than an eagle, 'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed, but I've got it all here in my heart.

I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.

I would be nothing without you. You are the wind beneath my wings.'

Yuuri was blushing by the end of his recital.

Slowly Gwendal rose; there was a catch in his voice when he said, "Your Majesty. Thank you. I am honored."

"Could you make that Yuuri." Yuuri stood on tip-toes and gave Gwendal a peck on his check, "and could you please NEVER EVER tell Wolfram about this. Ah….bye." He turned and fled.

Gwendal stood rooted to the spot, with a hand pressed to his cheek. His heart gave a painful squeeze and soared. That kid never ceased to amaze him. Apparently he was special to the boy. He felt warmed and special.

Well his plan was definitely successful. So on to the next.

XX

Authors Note: These two are so cute together. Hoped you liked this chapter. Please review and let me know what you think. Be gentle.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer I: Standard disclaimers apply

Disclaimer II: Lyrics belong to the artist of the song

**Authors note:** As you can see Gwendal is trying his best to act out of character and follow his heart. He does not always succeed but that's the fun part. So Gwendal OCness will definitely occur- part of the plot and all.

**Chapter 3:**

Before Gwendal could go any further with his plans of self discovery through the eyes of others, a crisis arose. He was alerted that an infiltration plan in progress in the kingdom of Xenobia was at the risk of being exposed. A few months back it had come to his notice that the King of Xenobia who had hitherto been neutral had been making noise about either allying himself with the Demon Kingdom or its enemies. The King, Darius, was a cagey man, who liked to keep his cards close to his chest. Though Gwendal had met him on a number of occasions, he was unable to tell which way the king was leaning. So to gather some insight into the matter he had decided to send Yozak in disguise as Darius was known for having a weakness for men in drag.

However, at a house party that the King was hosting one of the guests from Big Cimarron had let slip that he might have seen Lady Zesta (Yozak's alias) with Gwendal. If King Darius were to suspect that Yozak was a spy, he would not only imprison Yozak but also ally himself with the Demon Kingdom's enemies just to get back at them for daring to spy on him. This would be disastrous.

Gwendal had decided that he needed to intervene to make sure that the situation did not deteriorate. After a conference with Yurri, his brothers and Gunter, it had been decided that as Gwendal had received an invitation to the house party hosted by Darius at Xenobia, he would attend and find a way to explain his association with Lady Zesta (Yozak).

That was why he ended up dressed in his best uniform standing on the edged of a dance floor and trying his best to be civil to Darius as he rambled on about the greatness of his own country and himself. Yozak was yet to make an entrance. Gwendal had not been able to meet him prior to the dance being hosted that night, as he had arrived just as the festivities were about to start, so he was stuck with having to go with the flow and handle the situation as best as he could. He wished he had sent Gunter as spontaneity and social gatherings were not his style. It took all his will power not to snap at the King and demand to be told what he needed to know.

Just as Darius's mindless rambling was about to make him snap, he felt a strong hand on his forearm. He turned to see a handsome brunette dressed in a form fitting red gown with twinkling blue eyes looking up at him. Yozak sure new how to dress in drag.

"Well, well Lord von Voltaire, what a surprise to see you here." said Lady Zesta (Yozak) in a sultry voice. He then rubbed himself against Gwendal's side like a cat, making him jump. Yozak continued, "Why! Just last night, I was telling King Darius here all about the two of us." He followed that up with a flutter of lashes.

Gwendal was sure that Yozak was giving him some message here, but what it was he could not fathom. So he decided to just shut up and let Yozak do the talking.

"What a pleasure to see you again, Lady Zesta." Darius said and bowed low over Yozak's hand. He then raised it to his lips and placed a sloppy wet kiss on it. Yozak giggled and smiled shyly over at Darius. Only Gwendal could feel his shudder as he was still pressed up against him. He tried to move away but Yozak's grip on his forearm became painfully tight. Darius continued, "You're looking more radiant than the moon tonight, Lady Zesta. Why your eyes are the colour of the sky, your skin is like porcelain. If a person like you were mine I would shower you with gold, rubies and diamonds. I'd cross seas and mountains…"

"Oh, that is so sweet of you to say my dear king." Yozak cut him off. "Why you flatter me. But, I am sure that since Gwendal, I mean Lord von Voltaire has come so far just to see me, he would like to dance this waltz with me. RIGHT my lord." He followed this up with a crushing squeeze on Gwendal's arm.

"Fine." Gwendal growled.

"If you'll excuse us Your Majesty." Yozak said with a sweet smile at Darius.

"It pains me to see you go my dear, if you must then by all means. But do keep in mind that I am always willing to partner you on the dance floor or any were else for that matter."

Gwendal could see Yozak grinding his teeth, but he sweetly replied. "You're too kind, Your Majesty." and then with a bow, he dragged Gwendal onto the dance floor.

Pulling him close Yozak started to dance, Gwendal hesitantly followed, and growled, "I don't want to dance."

Yozak dropped all the honey from his voice and snapped back, "If you want me to keep my cover you're going to. That fool from Big Cimarron told the king right in front of me that he had seen the two of us together at a tavern. To cover it up all I could do was blush and hint, quite strongly I might add, that the two of us were lovers."

"WHAT!" Gwendal exploded.

"Keep it down will you. No offence my lord but you suck at this spy business. Anyway, where was I. Ah yes, I also made it seem that you and I had a tiff and I am at this party, to make you jealous"

"They're never going to believe that."

"Well if you keep scowling at me like that they sure won't. Look that was the best I could come up with at that time. It also helped me keep that horny King at bay. You never told me that he was such a perv and a jerk at that. His pick up lines are atrocious and he just keeps going on and on. It was all I could do to keep from decking him."

Gwendal scowled further, "Very well, if it can't be helped we will keep to that story. But more importantly, what did you learn about his plans?"

Yozak twirled and brought himself closer, whispering in Gwendal's ear, "The king is going to ally with the Demon Kingdom. Not only because he finds favor with Yuuri's policies but also because he would like to increase trade with the Demon tribe so as to give a boost to his countries lagging economy. It is a done deal. A missive has already been dispatched to Yuuri."

Gwendal grunted, "Mmm, good work. Now all we have to do is get out of here."

As they stepped off the dance floor, King Darius materialized at Yozak's elbow. The love-stuck look in his eyes did not bore well for them slipping out.

"Oh, My dear Lady Zesta, you dance divinely. But I can see that Lord von Voltaire here does not enjoy it as much. Let me have the honors of dancing with you. Why I am sure that we can glide like two swans across a lake…"

As the King droned on Gwendal narrowed his eyes. This would be a good opportunity to perform his 'Do you like me experiment.' on Yozak It was a perfect opportunity and it would also help them get rid of this leach, who was presently slobbering all over Yozak's hand.

With a glare, Gwendal said, "If you don't mind Your Majesty, the Lady has requested some air. I shall escort her."

"But, I would be honored."

Cutting him off, Gwendal growled. "Thank you, but we would like to be alone."

Gwendal could feel the King's eyes on them as he led Yozak to the gardens through a French window.

Yozak cast a look over his shoulder, and smiled weekly at the king who was blatantly staring, "I am flattered by this attention and all, but Shinou he is irritating. He's been following me around since the day I arrived. Let's get out of here while we can."

"No. That will make him suspicious. We need to leave in the morning with the rest of the guest. Let's just make sure that he stays away from you till then."

"And how are we going to do that, my lord. I've tried every thing. Unless Anisana had discovered a Darius repellent and you have it, I am stuck with him."

"Sit." Gwendal said, pointing to a garden bench nearby. Carefully arranging his gown Yozak sat gracefully.

Gwendal placed both his hands on the back of the bench and leaned forward, caging Yozak in. "W..What?"

"Tell me Yozak, what do you think about me?"

"Seriously?" Yozak gawked.

When Gwendal just continued to glare at him. Yozak cleared his throat and said. "Well this sure is a weird time to bring this up my lord, but anyway. I think you are a good General. You treat your subordinates fairly. You are considerate, kind and just. You always make it a point to visit your soldiers when they are wounded and leave them those cute stuffed animals."

"How do you know that's from me?" Gwendal interrupted. A blush creeping up his check.

With a cheeky grin, Yozak continued, "My Lord, one thing you are not and that is stealthy. Furthermore, you light a candle for your soldiers' safe passage when you send them out on a mission."

"How do you know that!" Gwendal demanded.

"Top spy and all. Anyway, on a more personal note, I think you are the kindest man I know." Gwendal backed away in surprise. "Despite the fact I am human you hired me. Conrart's recommendation when a long way I know, but you did not have to give me such an important post. You saw that I was good and rewarded me. You made sure that the other soldiers respected me. I know that you had to face a lot of opposition from the other nobles because you kept me on. But you stood up for me. For that and much more, I respect and admire you."

Gwendal in a gruff voice said, "Yozak you have earned your position. I could not ask for a better employee and your service to our country is valued greatly. I am proud of you."

Yozak's eyes filled at those words. "That means a lot." Looking away he caught sight of Darius making his way towards them. "Damn that King. He is a nuisance."

Gwendal sighed, "I thought that this next part could be avoided, but I think it will help us with your love struck king."

"My King, my foot, I'm mhmh…"

Yozak's mouth was too busy to complete the sentence as Gwendal moving forward and leaning down covered his mouth in a deep kiss.

Yozak was for one of the few times in his life shocked. Never in his widest dreams, and believe me they were wild, had he ever imagined that this would happen. But like he always thought, make hay when the sun shines. He put his arms around Gwendal's neck and pulled him on top of him, lying back on the bench. Expecting Gwendal to back up, he was once more surprised when he shifted and lay down between Yozak's thighs. There seemed to be one wild tiger behind Gwendal's gruff exterior, Yozak thought, and then he couldn't think any more as Gwendal bit down on the sensitive skin between his neck and shoulder. He then slowly licked the spot and placed a sweet kiss there.

"I think you both should take this inside." King Darius said in a whining voice. Gwendal and Yozak jerked apart.

Slowly Gwendal got to his feet and helped Yozak up. "Thank you for your hospitality Your Majesty, but as Lady Zesta here has decided to forgive me; we shall be leaving early tomorrow morning."

"That would be for the best. Good night." With a sniff the King turned and swiftly walked away.

"I think you broke his heart Yozak." Gwendal looked at Yozak to find him nervously studying his feet. "What is it?"

"Well, my Lord, I aaa…I"

"Don't worry. It was an experiment I was conducting. I can safely conclude that you like me and think highly of me. It shall be so noted."

"That's good. But, a… you do know that I like you, but not like like you, like I do Conrat. Right?"

"You sound like Yuuri. He must be rubbing off on you. Yes, I know you love my brother. I am not interested in you that way, though I must say you are a good kisser."

"Right back at you my Lord, Right back at you."

XX

**Author's Note:** I hope you'll like this chapter. I sympathies with the love struck Darius, Yozak is so cute.

I am dieing for a review. So please…**pretty please** click the button below and leave me a note. Please, please, please……………………


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply

**Authors Note:** Sorry for taking so long to update. I've been having a writer's block, but thanks to story 'White lies", I was inspired to continue with the story. Hope you all like what I've come up with.

**Chapter 4**

Gwendal was at his desk trying to catch up with all the work that had pilled up when he was away. There were two whole piles of paperwork to go through. Just looking at it gave him a headache. This was why he tried his best never to leave the castle. Ah, well he better get to it. Besides he had to go through the paperwork that Yurri had done in his attempt to help, the kid was getting better but it would take some time before he could do any of the paperwork without Gwendal having to review it. That thought made him pause. What would he do when Yuuri was capable of taking over? Where would that leave him? For more years than he could count he had been responsible for running the country. What did he do when he was no longer needed here? It seems his desire to understand himself better could not have come at a better time. He shook his head and got down to work.

By evening he had finished with the paperwork, but when his stomach growled he realized that he had forgotten to stop for lunch. He decided to go to the kitchen and ask the maids to scrape up a snack for him.

As he walked, he saw the shadows slant across the corridor as the sunset. All of a sudden the hair on the back of his neck stood up, goose bumps ran down his spine and he shuddered as he heard the sharp tap of footsteps behind him. He recognized that rhythm and knew that it signaled his doom. He started to run but the footsteps just kept coming closer. He did not dare turn around and check how close it was. He was now prey and all his instincts were screaming – flee. He ran down one corridor after another but they were all deserted. Even the guards feared what was hunting him. He was slowing and getting tired as the lack of sustenance was catching up on him. Hiding was his best option; he looked around desperately and spotted a broom closet to the left. Quickly he ducked into it and shut the door carefully behind him. He tried to slow his breathing down as the sound seemed so loud in the dark closet. He strained his ears to hear if anyone was outside but only silence greeted him. He was going to be patient and wait the hunter out as long as he was quite he would be safe. But even as he thought it, his stomach gave a loud hungry growl. The door flew open and all he saw was a flash of red before he let out a gut-wrenching scream that could be heard all over the castle and had everyone cringing.

Gwendal was dragged out of the closet by his collar, while Anissina cheerfully chatted away about the new invention he was going to test for her. As he was propelled backwards towards her laboratory (or room of doom as he liked to call it) he heard her saying, "I've got a real tasty invention for you to try out, and as your stomach was growling so loudly, I think you will really appreciate this new invention of mine."

Gwendal's cheeks flared with heat and he grumbled, "My stomach did not growl."

"Oh come now. Don't be shy. I've made such a tasty treat for you." So saying she pushed him into her lab and shut the door.

The lights dimmed and she picked up a plate shouting, "WOLA! May I present to you, lose-your-inhibitions-cake kun". The lights went blinding bright and Gwendal shielded his eyes with his forearm. When he lowered it he saw an innocent looking peace of cake on the platter, it was covered with pink and white frosting that was made to look like a bunnies face.

A shudder ran down his spine. How could Anissina make something evil look so cute. It was horrifying.

"Come. Come. Here take a bite. In fact eat the whole thing. It would be so much easier to judge its effects." So saying she pinched Gwendal's nose and when he gasped for air shoved the entire piece down his throat.

Gwendal wheezed and swallowed to keep from chocking. Suddenly his vision went hazy, he blinked a couple of times and everything around him abruptly became crystal clear. He could see every detail and hear every single sound.

He turned around and looked at Anissina, she was wearing her trademark maroon tunic, her grey eye sparkled with curiosity and her stance was haughty as usual.

"Well don't just stare at me. How do you feel?"

"You know what Anissina, I feel just great. In fact I think that this is a perfect time to conduct a little experiment of my own." So saying, he started to back Anissina against the wall.

"What?" she screeched "What's with you Gwendal?" She threw up her hands and placed them on Gwendal's chest to push him back. He caught them and pulled them around his neck.

"You see I was going to politely ask you and that was it. But now I have had a change of heart. You liked to push me into your experiments, don't you? Well here is a taste of your own medicine."

He walked straight into her and her body was pressed up flush against his. He lifted his finger and slowly traced her lips, when she gasped he pushed a finger into her mouth and traced the sensitive inner region. When she bit gently on his finger, he chuckled.

Hearing such a warm sound Annisina glanced up into his eyes. They were at half mast and a look of concentration was in their depths. She gasped as she felt his wet finger slowly trace their way down her chin and then her neck. It stopped at the base of her throat, where her pulse was just beginning to race.

Gwendal lowered his head and whispered near her lips, "Don't bit, sweet An." He then covered her lips with his own and placed a chaste kiss on them.

Anissina growled in frustration. Her fingers surged into his hair, dislodging the tie and she pulled him down. Pressing her lips firmly into his, her tongue shot out and pressed his apart. The minute he gave her entrance she pushed further in. Her tongue rasping against his and the dual began, with each fighting for dominance. There lips finally broke apart, each gasping for air.

Gwendal took a deep breath and then place a gentle kiss on her forehead and brought her close for a hug. Placing his chin on her hair, he asked, "Do you like me An?"

Anissina giggled and looked up at him, "This experiment sure is having a weird effect on you." She then gently punched his arm and said, "You know it do, Gwenni. You're my best friend in the whole wide world. No matter what happens I always know you've got my back. You're the one who encouraged me to go ahead with my science when everybody else was trying to tie me down and make me into a proper lady. No matter how many times I blow you up, you still support me."

She stood on tip toe and kissed his check, "I love you, Gwenni. I can always run to you and tell you everything. Like the time when I was forty and told you I liked women, not men. I was so sure that you would be shocked and push me away instead you calmly said that that was good and introduced me to my first girlfriend." Sighing she placed her head on Gwendal's chest; she could feel it shake as he laughed.

"Those were good days. I am trying to get back to them. I need to know that I can."

Annisina pushed away, "Don't be foolish. You may have changed over the years but you have become a good man; whom people look up to and admire. Sure you can afford to loosen up a bit, but that doesn't mean you have to try and revert back to your old ways. You are perfect as you are, Gwendal."

Gwendal turned and walked towards the window. Staring out, with his back to her he said, "Those years before Yuuri arrived were such a struggle. I felt like I was being torn apart from the inside. The war took the lives of so many good men." Sighing he turned around, the light behind him throwing his face into shadows, "When I think back to the decisions that I made, I am horrified. I made so many mistakes. I don't even like the man I was back then."

Annisina stepped up to him and gently placed her hand on his cheek, "You had hard choices to make Gwendal and in the given circumstances you did the best you could. No one else could have done better. Yes, you became hard during those years, but they were instrumental into making you who you are today. A man who is trusted and admired through out the kingdom, a son who makes her mother proud and the corner stone for not only your family but for the entire nation."

"That is what Yuuri said too."

"Then listen to him, that kid is silly but wise."

She then reared up and hit him hard on his head, Gwendal stumbled and landed flat on his face.

"What was that for?" He yelled.

"The only thing you do have to change is this attitude of yours that you can go through life all alone." She then sat on his back and hit her knuckles on his head to punctuate her words. "Instead of wondering how others feel about you, why you don't look into your heart to see who you like. Or better yet, who you love."

"Shinou! Get off me and shut up."

"Ah I see the effects of my lose-your-inhibitions-cake kun are wearing off. It sure was a success." Standing up she dusted her tunic. "You should remember what I said Gwendal. Now get out of here, before I find another invention for you to test."

Gwendal scrambled up and fled.

XXX

**Authors note:** Hope you liked it. I do not know why it was so hard for me to write this. **Please review and let me know what you think. Your reviews are the ones that keep me going.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Standard disclaimers apply

XX

Gwendal squinted at the morning sunlight coming through his window. It slanted across the bed and fell straight into his eyes. He always kept the curtains open because he was usually up before sunrise. But his talk with Anissina the previous evening had kept him awake. 'Who did he love?' That question had echoed in his mind the whole night. He knew the answer, hell he had known it form the moment he met him. He remembered it like it was yesterday.

He had been intent on learning how to control his earth power and had not realized that the field that he was practicing on was no longer deserted. In his attempt to concentrate he had blocked out all else and looked deep into his spirit for his power. He could sense the earth settling around him, he could feel the spark of life being born within the warm womb of the earth and could hear the scurry of animals as they burrowed into its depths. Deeper still he was aware of the boiling heat that seethed its way through rock and mud, giving lie to the calm surface above. Pulling on all these sensations he envisioned the earth parting and as the world trembled below his feet, he could feel it happening and reveled in the power coursing through his veins - that was till he heard a startled yelp.

His concentration broken he turned his head to see a flash of lavender fall into the split in the earth he had just created. He felt a rush of panic as he raced towards the hole. Praying fervently that no one had been hurt he looked over the edge to see the most beautiful person he had ever laid eyes on. Mesmerizing lavender eyes were staring up at him. Gwendal quickly lay down on his belly and shimmied towards the edge, he did not trust his newly emerging powers to get this angelic person out of danger. Reaching down he said, "Grab my hand!"

"I..I ..am so s…sorry for causing you so much trouble. P…Please do not concern yourself over me." The angel with hair the same shade as his eyes stammered.

Gwendal growled in frustration seeing that precious time was being wasted as the angel was hanging on to a ledge with just one hand.

"Give me your hand now!" Gwendal snarled. The angel jerked and slowly brought his free hand up. Gwendal reached down and clasped the milky white hand tightly and pulled up with all his strength.

Suddenly the boy seemed to become weightless and like the angel he thought him to be rose from the crevice, floating on the sudden wind that had kicked up. Gwendal watched open mouthed as this beautiful being floated up. He felt a tug and looked down, only then realizing that he still held the angel's hand. As soon as he let go, the wind died and the boy tumbled into his arms. Both his arms automatically came up to hold this seraph against him.

"I…I'm so so sorry. I..I.." The angel stammered. That breathtaking face was mere inches from his own and Gwendal could see the blush rising to stain his cheeks a most becoming shade of pink.

"I did not mean to be so much trouble. I just saw you practicing and was admiring your concentration. The look on your face was so soothing and calm that I couldn't help myself; I had to come nearer and when I did the earth shook and I was scared and then I…" His words were cut off as Gwendal placed a finger on his lips to still the rush of words. "Shhh.., now tell me are you real?"

"What?"

"You are so beautiful. You look like you belong in the heavens, not down here were the rest of us demons. So tell me are you real?"

"I..I..Yes?" Gwendal could feel each syllable against his finger. He slowly removed his hand and placed his first kiss on the angle's sweet lips. He lifted his head to see the boys eyes flutter.

A slow tickle of blood started to flow from his nose, startling Gwendal into realizing that the person he held in his arms was real and not a figment of his sweetest dreams. Then his angel fainted dead away.

Gwendal was formally introduced to Günter von Christ when he had woken up at the infirmary. Neither of them had referred to their first meeting, in fact, Gwendal mused, in all the decades they had spent at each others side, first as friends and then as associates they had never once talked about their first meeting.

But Gwendal von Voltaire had fallen in love that day and even after all this time he was still in love with Gunter. As a boy he had dreamt of all the ways he would declare his love for Gunter. But now that would never be, because life had happened and through it all Gunter had been beside him. He had seen the terrible thing Gwendal had done. He had borne witness to Gwendal becoming the hard man he was today. He would never burden Gunter, his angel, with a ruthless, unfeeling man like himself. Gunter deserved better.

A harsh laugh broke the silence in the bedroom, one that held no humor. He would never have to conduct his 'Do you like me experiment' on Gunter, because deep down in his broken heart he knew that Gunter would never love a man like him. Respect him enough to be his friend, yes. But never love him.

Gwendal sighed. Enough of this pointless introspection. He should just stop all this silliness and get on with his life. So what if he couldn't get back to being the person he was, one who was more in tune with his inner self, one who Gunter could love.

He swiftly tossed the blankets aside and strode towards his closet to get ready. He was already late.

Just as he took down his green jacket, the door of his bedroom burst into flames and from there depths a furious Wolfram came striding into the room.

"HOW COULD YOU?"

"Wolfram, what is the meaning of this. How dare you come into my room like this?"

"How dare I! HOW DARE I! You cheat, you…you…you KISSED MY FIANCE!"

"Ah…about that."

Wolfram had raised his arm with in which a highly unstable ball of fire lay burning. " I kiss my finance and expected him to be smitten over his first kiss only to hear that you", Wolfram raised a finger and pointed it at Gwendal, "YOU had kissed him first. I am going to Make. You. Pay"

"Wolfram calm down, I can explain." Catching sight of Conrad standing behind Wolfram, Gwendal said, "Conrad tell Wolfram that he should be reasonable."

Conrad came forward and stood beside Wolfram, "Why would I do that big brother, in fact," turning towards Wolfram, Conrad calmly said, "Wolfram what are you waiting for, fry his ass already."

"What!" Gwendal squeaked in surprise.

"You dear bother kissed, no more than that, MARKED MY Yozak. You gave him a hickey. You know if I had a ball of flame in my hands your hair would already be on fire."

Both the brothers slowly closed in on him. As he backed away, Gwendal thought that for all the times for these two to unite, this must be the worst.

XX

**Authors note:** I've got this image of Gwendal running around the castle with his boxers and hair on fire. He…he…evil me, but don't worry, I won't make him suffer ….too much.

Please review and let me know what you think. PLEASE!


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